Telling It Like It Is

** Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married, and she didn't have to hear about the way his mother cooked.

** A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own mother?"

He said, "Call for backup."

** A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"

Annie replied, "Because people are sleeping."

** A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "Honor thy father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"

Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."

** A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school,  I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home