Kids Funnies

1. Michael was in third grade and had to write a short biography of his parents. When the teacher read what he'd written about his mother, she was impressed with his vocabulary. The essay read, "My mom has blue eyes and chestnut hair."

"Where did you learn about the color chestnut?" the teacher asked him.

"I read it off her hair-dye box," Michael answered cheerily.


2. Three-year-old Joey came crying to his mother. "I stubbed my toe," the boy wailed.

"Which one?" his mother asked.

"The one that had roast beef!" he sobbed.


3. Like a typical teenager, Steven dreaded his family's annual vacation at a seaside cottage in the middle of 'Boring Nowhere.' But his eyes brightened when his mother said, "Did I tell you we'll be buying lobsters from Pamela Anderson? We'll even bike to her house to pick them up!"

His face grew sulllen as the horrible truth dawned: "There's more than one Pamela Anderson, isn't there?"


4. At first it was funny. Whenever ten-year-old Julie played the piano, the family poodle, Mollie, would sing along - with great enthusiasm, in an earsplitting howl. The family would all laugh, but after awhile her father couldn't take it any longer.

"For Pete's sake, honey," he begged, "play something the dog doesn't know!"