January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels "duh"... bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!
March - Got excited... finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months... box said "2-4 years!"
April - Trapped on escalator for hours... power went out!!!
May - Tried to make Kool-Aid... 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!
June - Tried to go water skiing... couldn't find a lake that ran downhill.
July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition... learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!
August - Got locked out of car in rain storm, car swamped, because top was down.
September - The capital of California is "C"... isn't it???
October - Hate M & M's... they are so hard to peel.
November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days... instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!
December - Couldn't call 911... "duh"... there's no "eleven" button on the phone!
What a year! I hope 2006 will be better!
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Supplies!!
A foreman points out a huge pile of sand and says:
To the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping."
To the Scotsman he says, "You're in charge of shovelling."
And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."
So the foreman goes away for a couple hours and when he returns, the pile of sand is untouched.
He asks the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?"
The Italian replies, "I no hava no broom. You saida to the Chinese a fella that he wasa ina charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere."
Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and says, and you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile.
“The Scotsman replies, "Aye, ye did lad, boot ah couldnay get meeself a shoovel! Ye left the' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah could nay find him either."
The foreman is really angry now and storms off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese guy.
Just then, the Chinese guy leaps out from behind the pile of sand and yells................
“SUPPLIES!!!”
To the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping."
To the Scotsman he says, "You're in charge of shovelling."
And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."
So the foreman goes away for a couple hours and when he returns, the pile of sand is untouched.
He asks the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?"
The Italian replies, "I no hava no broom. You saida to the Chinese a fella that he wasa ina charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere."
Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and says, and you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile.
“The Scotsman replies, "Aye, ye did lad, boot ah couldnay get meeself a shoovel! Ye left the' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah could nay find him either."
The foreman is really angry now and storms off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese guy.
Just then, the Chinese guy leaps out from behind the pile of sand and yells................
“SUPPLIES!!!”
If Men Really Ruled The World
- Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number.
- Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to "I love you."
- Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.
- When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.
- Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the back and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time" would pretty much do it.
- Birth control would come in ale or lager.
- You'd be expected to fill your resume with gag names of people you'd worked for, like "Heywood J'Blowme."
- Each year, your raise would be pegged to the fortunes of the NFL teamof your choice.
- The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.
- "Sorry I'm late, but I got really wasted last night" would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness.
- At the end of the workday, a whistle would blow and you'd jump out your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car like Fred Flintstone.
- It'd be considered harmless fun to gather 30 friends, put on horned helmets, and go pillage a nearby town.
- Lifeguards could remove citizens from beaches for violating the "public ugliness" ordinance.
- Tanks would be far easier to rent.
- Garbage would take itself out.Instead of beer belly, you'd get "beer biceps."
- Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said, "You're #1!"
- Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years.
- On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you'd get the day off to go drinking. Mother's Day, too. St. Patrick's Day, however, would remain exactly the same. But it would be celebrated every month.
- Cops would be broadcast live, and you could phone in advice to the pursuing cops. Or to the crooks.
- Two words: Ally McNaked.
- Kathie Lee would be chained to a cement mixer and pushed off the Golden Gate Bridge for the most lucrative pay-per-view event in world history.
- The only show opposite Monday Night Football would be Monday Night Football from a Different Camera Angle.
- It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you returned it the following day with a full tank of gas.
- Every man would get four real Get Out of Jail Free cards per year.
- When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck answer you responded with would actually reduce your fine. As in:
Cop: "You know how fast you were going?"
You: "All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over the place."
Cop: "Nice one. That's $10 off." - Faucets would run "Hot," "Cold," and "100 proof."
- Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation
Wanna hear a blonde joke?
A blind man makes his way to a bar stool and orders a drink.
After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair... given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight-lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
"Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, "Nah...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair... given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight-lifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
"Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, "Nah...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
Normal enough..?
During a recient visit to a mental asylum, I asked the Director what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," I said "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a room with or without a view?"
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," I said "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a room with or without a view?"
Tuesday, December 27, 2005
A Dollar
A man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, "What'll it be buddy?"
The man says, "Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles." The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and so on until all seven are gone almost as quickly as they were served. Staring in disbelief, the bartender asks why he's doing all this drinking.
"You'd drink them this fast too if you had what I have."
The bartender hastily asks, "What do you have pal?"
The man quickly replies, "I have a dollar."
The man says, "Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles." The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and so on until all seven are gone almost as quickly as they were served. Staring in disbelief, the bartender asks why he's doing all this drinking.
"You'd drink them this fast too if you had what I have."
The bartender hastily asks, "What do you have pal?"
The man quickly replies, "I have a dollar."
Monday, December 26, 2005
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Watch your step!
Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!"
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place it is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"
The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.
The third woman has observed all this and - not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man - is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on - - very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, thin, tanned, a great smile. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word then leaves the couple alone.
The happy woman exclaims, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to YOU for all eternity?"
The guy shakes his head and says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place it is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"
The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.
The third woman has observed all this and - not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man - is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on - - very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, thin, tanned, a great smile. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word then leaves the couple alone.
The happy woman exclaims, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to YOU for all eternity?"
The guy shakes his head and says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"
Saturday, December 24, 2005
Wedding Anniversary
A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been the talk of the town. What a peaceful & loving couple. A local newspaper reporter was inquiring as to the secret of their long and happy marriage.
"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained the man. "We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom on the canyon by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled. My wife quietly said, 'That's once'."
"We proceeded a little further and the horse stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, 'That's twice.'
"We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled the third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead.
"I started an angry protest over her treatment of the horse, while I was shouting. She looked at me, and quietly said, 'That's once'.
"And we have lived happily ever after."
"Well, it dates back to our honeymoon," explained the man. "We visited the Grand Canyon and took a trip down to the bottom on the canyon by horse. We hadn't gone too far when my wife's horse stumbled. My wife quietly said, 'That's once'."
"We proceeded a little further and the horse stumbled again. Once more my wife quietly said, 'That's twice.'
"We hadn't gone a half-mile when the horse stumbled the third time. My wife quietly removed a revolver from her purse and shot the horse dead.
"I started an angry protest over her treatment of the horse, while I was shouting. She looked at me, and quietly said, 'That's once'.
"And we have lived happily ever after."
Are you relaxing?
One day Sipho was enjoying the sun at the beach in South Africa. A lady came and asked him, "Are you relaxing?" Sipho answered, "No, I am Sipho."
Another guy came and asked him the same question. Sipho answered, "No! No! Me Sipho!"
A third one came and asked him the same question again. Sipho was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place.
While walking he saw a certain guy soaking in the sun. He went up to him and asked, "Are you Relaxing?" This guy was a lot more educated and answered, "Yes, I am relaxing."
Sipho slapped him in his face and said, "Stupid, idiot. Everyone is looking for you and you are sitting over here!"
Another guy came and asked him the same question. Sipho answered, "No! No! Me Sipho!"
A third one came and asked him the same question again. Sipho was totally annoyed and decided to shift his place.
While walking he saw a certain guy soaking in the sun. He went up to him and asked, "Are you Relaxing?" This guy was a lot more educated and answered, "Yes, I am relaxing."
Sipho slapped him in his face and said, "Stupid, idiot. Everyone is looking for you and you are sitting over here!"
Thursday, December 22, 2005
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
Loggers
On a tour of Alaska, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the mountains for some sight seeing. He was cruising along the campground in the Pope-mobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. A helpless looking guy, wearing sandals, shorts, a "Save the Whales" T-shirt and a Tree Hugger Hat, was struggling frantically, thrashing around trying to free himself from the jaws of a 10 foot grizzly bear.
As the Pope watched horrified, a group of loggers came racing up. One quickly fired a .44 magnum into the bear's chest. The other two reached up and pulled the bleeding, semiconscious Democrat from the bear. Then using long clubs, the three loggers beat the bear to death and two of them threw it onto the bed of their truck while the other tenderly placed the injured guy in the back seat.
As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions!" he told them. "I heard there was a bitter hatred between loggers and environmental activists, but now I've seen with my own eyes it is not true."
As the Pope drove off, one of the loggers asked his buddies "Who was that guy?" "It was the Pope," another replied, "he's in direct contact with God and has access to all God's wisdom."
"Well," the logger said, "he may have access to all God's wisdom, but he sure doesn't know anything about bear hunting. By the way, is the bait holding up okay or do we need to go back to town and grab another one?
As the Pope watched horrified, a group of loggers came racing up. One quickly fired a .44 magnum into the bear's chest. The other two reached up and pulled the bleeding, semiconscious Democrat from the bear. Then using long clubs, the three loggers beat the bear to death and two of them threw it onto the bed of their truck while the other tenderly placed the injured guy in the back seat.
As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions!" he told them. "I heard there was a bitter hatred between loggers and environmental activists, but now I've seen with my own eyes it is not true."
As the Pope drove off, one of the loggers asked his buddies "Who was that guy?" "It was the Pope," another replied, "he's in direct contact with God and has access to all God's wisdom."
"Well," the logger said, "he may have access to all God's wisdom, but he sure doesn't know anything about bear hunting. By the way, is the bait holding up okay or do we need to go back to town and grab another one?
Sunday, December 18, 2005
Only from Kids
Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student: Gandhi ji was born.
Teacher: What happened in 1873?
Student: Gandhiji was four years old.
Teacher: Now children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing?
Student: Brotherly love?
Teacher: How old is your father?
Sunny: As old as I am.
Teacher: How is it possible?
Sunny: He became father only after I was born.
Teacher: There is a frog, a ship is sinking, and potatoes cost Rs 3/kg .Then, what is my age?
Student: 32 yrs.
Teacher: How do you know?
Student: Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.
Teacher: Where does God live?
Little boy: I think he lives in our bathroom.
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Little boy: Well, every morning my daddy bangs on the door and says, 'God, are you still in there?'
Student: Gandhi ji was born.
Teacher: What happened in 1873?
Student: Gandhiji was four years old.
Teacher: Now children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing?
Student: Brotherly love?
Teacher: How old is your father?
Sunny: As old as I am.
Teacher: How is it possible?
Sunny: He became father only after I was born.
Teacher: There is a frog, a ship is sinking, and potatoes cost Rs 3/kg .Then, what is my age?
Student: 32 yrs.
Teacher: How do you know?
Student: Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.
Teacher: Where does God live?
Little boy: I think he lives in our bathroom.
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Little boy: Well, every morning my daddy bangs on the door and says, 'God, are you still in there?'
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Friday, December 16, 2005
Confession
About a month ago, a man in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so he went to his priest.
"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During World War II I hid a refugee in my attic."
"Well," answered the priest, "that's not a sin."'
"But I made him agree to pay me 20 Pounds for every week he stayed."
"I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause."
"Oh, thank you, Father; that eases my mind. I have one more question..."
"What is that, my son?"
"Do I have to tell him the war is over?"
"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During World War II I hid a refugee in my attic."
"Well," answered the priest, "that's not a sin."'
"But I made him agree to pay me 20 Pounds for every week he stayed."
"I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause."
"Oh, thank you, Father; that eases my mind. I have one more question..."
"What is that, my son?"
"Do I have to tell him the war is over?"
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Do You Know Frank?
A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank.”
Passenger: Who?
Cabbie: Frank Feldman. There's a guy who did everything right. Like my coming along when you needed a cab. It would have happened like that to Frank every single time.
Passenger: There are always a few clouds over everybody.
Cabbie: Not Frank. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano.
Passenger: Sounds like he was something really special.
Cabbie: There's more. He had a memory like a computer, could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out.
Passenger: Wow, some bloke then.
Cabbie: He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams, not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them.
Passenger: Mmmm, there's not many like him around.
Cabbie: And he knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good and never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too."
Passenger: An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?
Cabbie: Well, I never actually met Frank.
Passenger: Then how do you know so much about him?
Cabbie: I married his widow.
Passenger: Who?
Cabbie: Frank Feldman. There's a guy who did everything right. Like my coming along when you needed a cab. It would have happened like that to Frank every single time.
Passenger: There are always a few clouds over everybody.
Cabbie: Not Frank. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano.
Passenger: Sounds like he was something really special.
Cabbie: There's more. He had a memory like a computer, could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out.
Passenger: Wow, some bloke then.
Cabbie: He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams, not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them.
Passenger: Mmmm, there's not many like him around.
Cabbie: And he knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good and never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too."
Passenger: An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?
Cabbie: Well, I never actually met Frank.
Passenger: Then how do you know so much about him?
Cabbie: I married his widow.
Friday, December 09, 2005
Thathuvams
Thathuvam #11578
Vaayala "naai"-nu solla mudiyum
Aaana..
Naayaala "Vaai"-nu solla mudiyuma??? Yosi !!!
Thathuvam #2421
Bus poita bus stand angayae thaan irukum
Aana...
cycle poita cycle stand koodavae poogum!
Thathuvam #45398
Cellula balance illana call panna mudiyathu..
Aaana..
Manushanukku kaal illana,
Balance panna mudiyathu..
Thathuvam #3622
Omlette podurathukaga mutaya odaikalam
Aaana..
Omlettea odaichu muttai poda mudiyuma..
Ana muttai udanchi pochingrathukaga Omlette poda mudiyuma
Thathuvam #3622A
Omlette podurathukaga mutaya odaikalam
Aaana..
Ana muttai udanchi pochingrathukaga Omlette poda mudiyuma
Thathuvam #5761
Poison evlo naal aanalum payasam aaga mudiyadhu
But Payasam patthu naal aana poison aayidum.
Thathuvam #7268
Arisi kotina vaera arisi vaangalam,
Paal kotina vaera paal vangalam,
Aaana...
Thael kotina vaera thael vaanga mudiyadhu.
Thathuvam #9387
Aeroplane vaanathila poayirukku…
Aana...
vaanam aeroplane-la poayirukaa...
Thathuvam #55719
Train evalo vegama ponaalum,
Kadaisi petty kaidaisiyathaan pogum...
Thathuvam #10141
Runway maela vodi planeala maela parak mudiyum,
Aana..
Plane maela vodi runwayaala paraka mudiyumaa..?
Thathuvam #10141A
Plane enna than mela paranthalum...
Adhu mela parakka uthavina runway keezhiye than irukkum...
Thathuvam #99441
Kaaka vaanathial parakalaam,
Aana...
Sapida tharaiku thaan varanum...
Thathuvam #9045
Files na ukkanthu parkkalam,
Aana...
Piles na parthuthan ukkaranum...
Thathuvam #7081
Busla nee yerina prayaani..
Bus un mela yerina briyaani
Thathuvam #6007
Mandaila potta DYE...
Mandamela potta DIE
Thathuvam #447
Ambalaikku adipattaa thookittu poga ambulance varum,
Aana...
Pombalaikku adipattaa thookittu poga pombulance varaathu.. that's life.
Thathuvam #117
Busla nee aerinalum,
Busu un mella aerinalum..........
Ticket vanga porathu neeeee than.
Thathuvam #129
Ticket Vangitu Ulla poradu cinema theatre,
Ulae poitu ticket vanguradu operation theatre.
Thathuvam #817
Ulagam theriyaama valandha avan veguly,
Cricket theriyaama valandha avan ganguly.
Thathuvam #10217
Trainkku ticket vaangi platformla ukkaaralaam,
Aana platformku ticket vangi trainla ukkara mudiyathu.
Thathuvam #9117
Kaakka ennadhaan karuppa irundhaalum adhu podara muttai vellai,
Muttai ennadhaan vellaiya irundhaalum adhukulla irukka kaakka karuppudhaan.
Thathuvam #17010
Nee evalo periya dancer aa irundhaalum,
Un saavukku unnaala aada mudiyuma?
Thathuvam #2117
Nila kaati soru uttalam,
Sora kaati nilla uta mudiyumma?
Thathuvam #32115
Manushan "Zebra Crossing" la road cross panraan,
Aana,
Zebra "Man Crossing" la road cross pannumaa?
Thathuvam #7099
Lamp post la "post" irukkarudhunaala,
Letter post panna mudiyaadhu.
Thathuvam #9127
Oruthar irandhuttaa, "Late" appadinnu solrom,
Porakka pora Kuzhandhaiya "Early" nu sollamaatroame..
Thathuvam #7117
Busla syllaBUS padikka mudiyum,
Aana,
Trainla syllaTRAIN padikka mudiyaadhy.
Thathuvam #1916
Yanamela namma ukkantha jolly,
Aana,
Namma mela yanai ukkaantha gally.
Thathuvam #13192
Lace aaala shoe tie pannalaam,
Aana,
Shoe aala lace a tie panna mudiyuma,
Illa tie aala dhaan shoe lace poda mudiyumaaa?
Thathuvam #19127
Kosu kadicha yaanaikal varum,
Aana,
Yanai kadicha kosukaal varuma?
Thathuvam #117
Innaiku thoonguna nalaiku enthirikalam,
Aana,
Naalaiku thoonguna inaiku enthirika mudiyuma?
Thathuvam #13210
Bus la collector-yae erinalum,
Mudhal seetu driveruku than.
Thathuvam #12216
Cycle carrierla tiffen-a vechu eduthuttu pogalam,
Aana,
Tiffin carrierla cycle-a vechu eduthuttu poga mudiyathu.
Thathuvam #1123
Enna than meenuku neendha therinjalum,
Adhala meen kozhambula neendha mudiyadhu.
Thathuvam #10017
Iron boxla iron panna mudiyum,
Aana,
Pencil box la pencil panna mudiyuma.
Thathuvam #11501
Ne Enna than costly mobile vachirundhalum,
Athula evalavu than talk time irundhaalum,
Unnalla unakku call panna mudiyathu.
Thathuvam #13167
Cream biscuitla cream irukkum,
Aana,
Nai biscuitla nai irukkuma?
Thathuvam #11119
Puyalala karaya kadaka mudiyum,
Karayala puyala kadaka mudiyuma?
Thathuvam #14179
Oru erumbu nenacha 1000 yanaya kadikkum,
Aana 1000 yana nenachalum oru erumba kooda kadikka mudiyadhu.
Thathuvam #901172
Quarter Adichittu Kuppura padukkalaam,
Aana,
Kupura paduthuttu quarter adikka mudiyathu.
Thathuvam #111111
Railway stationla police station irukkalam,
Aana,
Police stationla railway station irukka mudiyadhu.
Thathuvam #1316
Gold chain-a adagu vachu cycle vaangalaam,
Aana,
Cycle chain-a adagu vachu gold vaanga mudiyaathu.
Thathuvam #1917
Nee bikela evlo thaan fasta ponaalum,
Unnaiye unnala overtake panna mudiyaadhu.
Thathuvam #1172
Thoonga poradhukku munnala thoonga porennu sollalaam,
Yezhundhukkurathukku munnala yendhrika porennu solla mudiyumaa?
Vaayala "naai"-nu solla mudiyum
Aaana..
Naayaala "Vaai"-nu solla mudiyuma??? Yosi !!!
Thathuvam #2421
Bus poita bus stand angayae thaan irukum
Aana...
cycle poita cycle stand koodavae poogum!
Thathuvam #45398
Cellula balance illana call panna mudiyathu..
Aaana..
Manushanukku kaal illana,
Balance panna mudiyathu..
Thathuvam #3622
Omlette podurathukaga mutaya odaikalam
Aaana..
Omlettea odaichu muttai poda mudiyuma..
Ana muttai udanchi pochingrathukaga Omlette poda mudiyuma
Thathuvam #3622A
Omlette podurathukaga mutaya odaikalam
Aaana..
Ana muttai udanchi pochingrathukaga Omlette poda mudiyuma
Thathuvam #5761
Poison evlo naal aanalum payasam aaga mudiyadhu
But Payasam patthu naal aana poison aayidum.
Thathuvam #7268
Arisi kotina vaera arisi vaangalam,
Paal kotina vaera paal vangalam,
Aaana...
Thael kotina vaera thael vaanga mudiyadhu.
Thathuvam #9387
Aeroplane vaanathila poayirukku…
Aana...
vaanam aeroplane-la poayirukaa...
Thathuvam #55719
Train evalo vegama ponaalum,
Kadaisi petty kaidaisiyathaan pogum...
Thathuvam #10141
Runway maela vodi planeala maela parak mudiyum,
Aana..
Plane maela vodi runwayaala paraka mudiyumaa..?
Thathuvam #10141A
Plane enna than mela paranthalum...
Adhu mela parakka uthavina runway keezhiye than irukkum...
Thathuvam #99441
Kaaka vaanathial parakalaam,
Aana...
Sapida tharaiku thaan varanum...
Thathuvam #9045
Files na ukkanthu parkkalam,
Aana...
Piles na parthuthan ukkaranum...
Thathuvam #7081
Busla nee yerina prayaani..
Bus un mela yerina briyaani
Thathuvam #6007
Mandaila potta DYE...
Mandamela potta DIE
Thathuvam #447
Ambalaikku adipattaa thookittu poga ambulance varum,
Aana...
Pombalaikku adipattaa thookittu poga pombulance varaathu.. that's life.
Thathuvam #117
Busla nee aerinalum,
Busu un mella aerinalum..........
Ticket vanga porathu neeeee than.
Thathuvam #129
Ticket Vangitu Ulla poradu cinema theatre,
Ulae poitu ticket vanguradu operation theatre.
Thathuvam #817
Ulagam theriyaama valandha avan veguly,
Cricket theriyaama valandha avan ganguly.
Thathuvam #10217
Trainkku ticket vaangi platformla ukkaaralaam,
Aana platformku ticket vangi trainla ukkara mudiyathu.
Thathuvam #9117
Kaakka ennadhaan karuppa irundhaalum adhu podara muttai vellai,
Muttai ennadhaan vellaiya irundhaalum adhukulla irukka kaakka karuppudhaan.
Thathuvam #17010
Nee evalo periya dancer aa irundhaalum,
Un saavukku unnaala aada mudiyuma?
Thathuvam #2117
Nila kaati soru uttalam,
Sora kaati nilla uta mudiyumma?
Thathuvam #32115
Manushan "Zebra Crossing" la road cross panraan,
Aana,
Zebra "Man Crossing" la road cross pannumaa?
Thathuvam #7099
Lamp post la "post" irukkarudhunaala,
Letter post panna mudiyaadhu.
Thathuvam #9127
Oruthar irandhuttaa, "Late" appadinnu solrom,
Porakka pora Kuzhandhaiya "Early" nu sollamaatroame..
Thathuvam #7117
Busla syllaBUS padikka mudiyum,
Aana,
Trainla syllaTRAIN padikka mudiyaadhy.
Thathuvam #1916
Yanamela namma ukkantha jolly,
Aana,
Namma mela yanai ukkaantha gally.
Thathuvam #13192
Lace aaala shoe tie pannalaam,
Aana,
Shoe aala lace a tie panna mudiyuma,
Illa tie aala dhaan shoe lace poda mudiyumaaa?
Thathuvam #19127
Kosu kadicha yaanaikal varum,
Aana,
Yanai kadicha kosukaal varuma?
Thathuvam #117
Innaiku thoonguna nalaiku enthirikalam,
Aana,
Naalaiku thoonguna inaiku enthirika mudiyuma?
Thathuvam #13210
Bus la collector-yae erinalum,
Mudhal seetu driveruku than.
Thathuvam #12216
Cycle carrierla tiffen-a vechu eduthuttu pogalam,
Aana,
Tiffin carrierla cycle-a vechu eduthuttu poga mudiyathu.
Thathuvam #1123
Enna than meenuku neendha therinjalum,
Adhala meen kozhambula neendha mudiyadhu.
Thathuvam #10017
Iron boxla iron panna mudiyum,
Aana,
Pencil box la pencil panna mudiyuma.
Thathuvam #11501
Ne Enna than costly mobile vachirundhalum,
Athula evalavu than talk time irundhaalum,
Unnalla unakku call panna mudiyathu.
Thathuvam #13167
Cream biscuitla cream irukkum,
Aana,
Nai biscuitla nai irukkuma?
Thathuvam #11119
Puyalala karaya kadaka mudiyum,
Karayala puyala kadaka mudiyuma?
Thathuvam #14179
Oru erumbu nenacha 1000 yanaya kadikkum,
Aana 1000 yana nenachalum oru erumba kooda kadikka mudiyadhu.
Thathuvam #901172
Quarter Adichittu Kuppura padukkalaam,
Aana,
Kupura paduthuttu quarter adikka mudiyathu.
Thathuvam #111111
Railway stationla police station irukkalam,
Aana,
Police stationla railway station irukka mudiyadhu.
Thathuvam #1316
Gold chain-a adagu vachu cycle vaangalaam,
Aana,
Cycle chain-a adagu vachu gold vaanga mudiyaathu.
Thathuvam #1917
Nee bikela evlo thaan fasta ponaalum,
Unnaiye unnala overtake panna mudiyaadhu.
Thathuvam #1172
Thoonga poradhukku munnala thoonga porennu sollalaam,
Yezhundhukkurathukku munnala yendhrika porennu solla mudiyumaa?
Thursday, December 08, 2005
SMS
Could you fax me your photo very very urgently?
Mind you - it's really very very urgent,
Damn serious and very important .....
I'm playing cards and
We've misplaced the JOKER.
============================
Good looks catch the eyes but good Personality catches the heart.
You are blessed with both!
FLATTERED?. Don't be,
it was sent to me,
and I just wanted you to read it.
=============================
Good morning...Have u done two of the most important things when you woke up today?
1) Pray, so that u may live...
2) Take a bath-so that others may live too!
============================
I saw something in a shop window.
It was stunning, cute, simply adorable.
I was supposed to buy it for you,
then I realised it was my reflection.
============================
To live a life, one needs brains, reflex, perception, looks, IQ, knowledge, way of expression and many more mental qualities.
Hats off to you because you manage to live without them.
============================
Once god came up to me and granted me a wish.
I asked for "world peace".
That's impossible, he said.
Then I asked him to give you brain.
He said "Let me try world peace"
============================
From Mon to Sun,
From Jan To Dec,
From birth till my death,
My feelings for you have never changed.
For me, you've always been...........
A Headache !
============================
One day you'll be srprised to see me beside you.
YOU & ME laughing,
YOU & ME crying,
YOU &ME dreaming,
YOU & ME holding on,
YOU & ME...
Just YOU & ME sitting in a.....
MENTAL HOSPITAL & ME CHECKING YOU.
============================
I cannot hide this from you any more. I don't want to hurt you and I feel it's
best if I tell you, before you hear it from someone else ............
Potato Prices Have Gone Up !
============================
If you save this message, it means I'm cute.
If you edit this, I'm still cute.
If you fwd this, you are spreading that I'm cute &
if you erase this, you are jealous of
me because I'm cute!
============================
This message will refresh your brain in 5 seconds.
5....
4....
3....
2....
1....
Error : No Brain Detected !!
============================
I mixed RUM in water and got drunk.
I mixed BRANDY in water and got drunk.
I mixed WHISKY in water and got drunk again.
Now I have decided never to drink water again !!!
============================
when it rains, I think of you
When the sun shines bright, I think of you
When it snows, I think of you
Will you please return my umbrella
Mind you - it's really very very urgent,
Damn serious and very important .....
I'm playing cards and
We've misplaced the JOKER.
============================
Good looks catch the eyes but good Personality catches the heart.
You are blessed with both!
FLATTERED?. Don't be,
it was sent to me,
and I just wanted you to read it.
=============================
Good morning...Have u done two of the most important things when you woke up today?
1) Pray, so that u may live...
2) Take a bath-so that others may live too!
============================
I saw something in a shop window.
It was stunning, cute, simply adorable.
I was supposed to buy it for you,
then I realised it was my reflection.
============================
To live a life, one needs brains, reflex, perception, looks, IQ, knowledge, way of expression and many more mental qualities.
Hats off to you because you manage to live without them.
============================
Once god came up to me and granted me a wish.
I asked for "world peace".
That's impossible, he said.
Then I asked him to give you brain.
He said "Let me try world peace"
============================
From Mon to Sun,
From Jan To Dec,
From birth till my death,
My feelings for you have never changed.
For me, you've always been...........
A Headache !
============================
One day you'll be srprised to see me beside you.
YOU & ME laughing,
YOU & ME crying,
YOU &ME dreaming,
YOU & ME holding on,
YOU & ME...
Just YOU & ME sitting in a.....
MENTAL HOSPITAL & ME CHECKING YOU.
============================
I cannot hide this from you any more. I don't want to hurt you and I feel it's
best if I tell you, before you hear it from someone else ............
Potato Prices Have Gone Up !
============================
If you save this message, it means I'm cute.
If you edit this, I'm still cute.
If you fwd this, you are spreading that I'm cute &
if you erase this, you are jealous of
me because I'm cute!
============================
This message will refresh your brain in 5 seconds.
5....
4....
3....
2....
1....
Error : No Brain Detected !!
============================
I mixed RUM in water and got drunk.
I mixed BRANDY in water and got drunk.
I mixed WHISKY in water and got drunk again.
Now I have decided never to drink water again !!!
============================
when it rains, I think of you
When the sun shines bright, I think of you
When it snows, I think of you
Will you please return my umbrella
The Waiter (Microsoft Ex-Employee)
Patron: Waiter!
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?
Patron: There's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Try again; maybe the fly won't be there this time.
Patron: No, it's still there.
Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating it with a fork instead.
Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.
Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using?
Patron: A SOUP bowl!
Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem; how was the bowl set up?
Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to do with the fly in my soup?!
Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?
Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?
Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day?
Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.
Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?
Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.
Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. I'm running late now.
[Waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check]
Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your bill.
Patron: This is potato soup.
Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.
Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.
[The waiter leaves]
Patron: Waiter! There's a gnat in my soup!
The bill:
Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $5.00
Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . . $2.50
Access to support . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $1.00
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?
Patron: There's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Try again; maybe the fly won't be there this time.
Patron: No, it's still there.
Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating it with a fork instead.
Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.
Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using?
Patron: A SOUP bowl!
Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem; how was the bowl set up?
Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to do with the fly in my soup?!
Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?
Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?
Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day?
Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.
Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?
Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.
Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. I'm running late now.
[Waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check]
Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your bill.
Patron: This is potato soup.
Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.
Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.
[The waiter leaves]
Patron: Waiter! There's a gnat in my soup!
The bill:
Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $5.00
Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . . $2.50
Access to support . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . $1.00
Error Messages for Next Windows Version
1. Smash Forehead on Keyboard to continue
2. Enter any 11 digit prime number to continue
3. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit
4. Press any key to....No no no no not that one...
5. Press control, alt delete now for IQ test.
6. Close your eyes and press escape three times.
7. Bad command or file name. Go and stand in the corner
8. This will end your windows session. Do you want to play another game?
9. Windows message: Error saving file. Format hard drive now (Y/Y)
10. This is a message from god Gates: Rebooting world. Please log off.
11. To shut down your system type WIN.
12. BREAKFAST.sys halted. Cereal port not responding
13. COFFEE.sys missing. Insert cup in cup holder to continue
14. File not found. Should i take a guess? (Y/N)
15. Bad or missing mouse. Should i spank the cat?
16. Runtime error 6D at 417a:32CF: Incompetent user
17. Error reading FAT record. Try the Skinny one? (Y/N)
18. WinErr 16547: LTP not found: Use backup. (PENCILANDPAPER.sys)
19. Windows Viruscan 1.0 – Windows found. Remove it? (Y/N)
20. Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software titles have been deleted. The police are on the way
2. Enter any 11 digit prime number to continue
3. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit
4. Press any key to....No no no no not that one...
5. Press control, alt delete now for IQ test.
6. Close your eyes and press escape three times.
7. Bad command or file name. Go and stand in the corner
8. This will end your windows session. Do you want to play another game?
9. Windows message: Error saving file. Format hard drive now (Y/Y)
10. This is a message from god Gates: Rebooting world. Please log off.
11. To shut down your system type WIN.
12. BREAKFAST.sys halted. Cereal port not responding
13. COFFEE.sys missing. Insert cup in cup holder to continue
14. File not found. Should i take a guess? (Y/N)
15. Bad or missing mouse. Should i spank the cat?
16. Runtime error 6D at 417a:32CF: Incompetent user
17. Error reading FAT record. Try the Skinny one? (Y/N)
18. WinErr 16547: LTP not found: Use backup. (PENCILANDPAPER.sys)
19. Windows Viruscan 1.0 – Windows found. Remove it? (Y/N)
20. Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software titles have been deleted. The police are on the way
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Monday, December 05, 2005
Friday, December 02, 2005
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