* Yes this isn't Home Sweet Home ... Adjust!
* Ring bell for maid service. If no answer, do it yourself!
* I clean house every other day. Today is the other day.
* If you write in the dust, please don't date it!
* I would cook dinner but I can't find the can opener!
* My house was clean last week, too bad you missed it!
* I came, I saw, I decided to order take out.
* If you don't like my standards of cooking ...lower your standards.
* No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
* Although you'll find our house a mess, Come in, sit down, and converse. It doesn't always look like this: Some days it's even worse.
* A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand!
* Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
* Countless number of people have eaten in this kitchen and gone on to lead normal lives.
* My next house will have no kitchen ... just vending machines.
* Help keep the kitchen clean - eat out.
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