Valentine Oneliners

Q. What did the valentine card say to the stamp?
A. Stick with me and we’ll go places!

Q. What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
A. “I find you very attractive.”

Q. What did the bat say to his girlfriend?
A. “You’re fun to hang around with.”

Q. What did one light bulb say to the other?
A. “I love you a whole watt!”

Q. What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?
A. “I love you a ton!”

Q. What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream?
A. “I’m sweet on you!”

Q. Do skunks celebrate Valentine’s Day?
A. Sure, they’re very scent-imental!

Q. What did the painter say to her boyfriend?
A. “I love you with all my art!”

Q. What does a man who loves his car do on February 14?
A. He gives it a valenshine!

Q. What did the man with the broken leg say to his nurse?
A. “I’ve got a crutch on you!”

Q. Did you hear about the romance in the tropical fish tank?
A. It was a case of guppy love.

Q. What do you call two birds in love?
A. Tweethearts!

Q. Why did the stupid boy put clothes on the valentines he was sending?
A. Because they needed to be ad-dressed!

Q. Why is Valentine’s Day the best day for a celebration?
A. Because you can really party hearty!

Q. What did one oar say to the other?
A. “Can I interest you in a little row-mance?”

Q. What happened when the man fell in love with his garden?
A. It made him wed his plants!

Q. What happened when the two angels got married?
A. They lived harpily ever after!

Girl : “I can’t be your valentine for medical reasons.”
Boy : “Really?”
Girl : “Yeah, you make me sick!”

Q. Why didn’t Cupid shoot his arrow at the lawyer’s heart?
A. Because even Cupid can’t hit a target that small!

Q. Why do men like love at first sight ?
Answer from a Female : It saves them a lot of time !
Answer from a Male : Love will vanish when she starts talking!

Q. Why man holds a woman’s hand ?
A.1 : before marriage, it is love;
A.2 : after marriage, it is self-defense !