Quips

"The White House has hired a new pastry chef. The uncomfor- table thing is that he was also hired to be the Secretary of Defense." --Conan O'Brien

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"Rocky 6 is now in the theater. Don't kid yourself, Rocky is getting old. In this movie he climbs into the ring and says, 'What am I in here for?'" --Dave Letterman

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"According to a study, they found common words used by happy people are, joy, love and hopeful. And they also found common words used by other people to describe happy people. Annoying, irritating, obnoxious..." --Jay Leno