Laws of Life

Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

Anthony's Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Kovac's Conundrum:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged tone.

Cannon's Karmic Law:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

O'brien's Variation Law:
If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

Bell's Theorem:
When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

Ruby's Principle of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Willoughby's Law:
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Zadra's Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Breda's Rule:
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

Owen's Law:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Law of Stupidity:
The probability of someone watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.

Law of Lines:
When you walk IN the grocery store, there's never anyone in the checkout line.

Inverse Hair Dryer Law:
You're sure you hear the phone ringing in the background, until you turn the hair dryer off.

Murphy's Law of Lockers:
If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Natural Attraction:
If you and your date are the only two on a five-mile stretch of beach, a family of five will set up right next to you.

Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets:
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.

Law of Logical Argument:
Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

Law of the Last Word:
"Hey, watch this!"