Top 12 Signs That Santa is Tired of Christmas
12 - Now relies on a quick Google image search to see if you've been naughty.
11 - Good, bad or on the fence -- *everyone* gets an AOL CD in their stocking this year.
10 - But I heard him exclaim, before he drove out of sight, "Yadda, yadda, yadda...."
9 - Sticker on sleigh: "How's my flying? Call 800-EAT-SUGARPLUMS"
8 - Former "Naughty/Nice" databases merged into a single "Whatever" database.
7 - Turns Ms. Claus out to work the corner next to the Salvation Army bell ringers.
6 - At midnight on Christmas Eve, gift certificates to Amazon.com magically appear in the e-mail in-boxes of good girls and boys.
5 - New policy this year: Only strippers allowed on his lap.
4 - Hey, kid -- them brown lumps in your stocking ain't coal!
3 - On his personal Christmas list: A George Foreman Grill and "The Ultimate Reindeer Cookbook."
2 - He's assigned numbers to all the countries on Earth and is doing the odd ones this year and the even ones next year.
and the Number 1 Sign Santa is Sick of Christmas...
This year's #1 stocking stuffers: Elf heads and Rudolph jerky
12 - Now relies on a quick Google image search to see if you've been naughty.
11 - Good, bad or on the fence -- *everyone* gets an AOL CD in their stocking this year.
10 - But I heard him exclaim, before he drove out of sight, "Yadda, yadda, yadda...."
9 - Sticker on sleigh: "How's my flying? Call 800-EAT-SUGARPLUMS"
8 - Former "Naughty/Nice" databases merged into a single "Whatever" database.
7 - Turns Ms. Claus out to work the corner next to the Salvation Army bell ringers.
6 - At midnight on Christmas Eve, gift certificates to Amazon.com magically appear in the e-mail in-boxes of good girls and boys.
5 - New policy this year: Only strippers allowed on his lap.
4 - Hey, kid -- them brown lumps in your stocking ain't coal!
3 - On his personal Christmas list: A George Foreman Grill and "The Ultimate Reindeer Cookbook."
2 - He's assigned numbers to all the countries on Earth and is doing the odd ones this year and the even ones next year.
and the Number 1 Sign Santa is Sick of Christmas...
This year's #1 stocking stuffers: Elf heads and Rudolph jerky
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