First Day

A pirate clumped into the tavern with parrot on his shoulder, a wooden leg, a hook for a hand, and a patch over an eye.

After setting him up, the bartender asked, "How'd ye lose the leg?"

Pirate answered, "Croc got it while me explorin' a swamp"

Bartender: "So how'd ye lose the hand?"

Pirate: "Arrg, lost it primin' a cannon for battle"

Bartender: "So how'd ye lose the eye?"

Pirate: "While gazin' up at the sails, this mangy fowl flew down and pooped on me face"

Bartender: "Why, that can't hurt your eye"

Pirate: "Arrg, true but was me first day with the hook"