Snowman Comics

 

After the attack!!!

 

Effect of Economic Slowdown

 

How to tick your wife off..

Love Marriage - Its the kids who always suffer

The name is Zenkey!!!

Murphy's Work Laws

 

• The printer is either out of toner or there is no paper only when the client asks for 10 copies of a 120 page report by evening.
• The CD drive will not be even detected only when you want to cull out information from some CD. Just the day before that, you would have been playing music and it would have worked fine. If the Drive is working the CD would be corrupt/Scratched.
• The network would snap just when you were explaining an important point over a NetMeeting conference call.
• The telephones won't work when you need to call long distance urgently.
• All mails except the most important one, which was sent way before, will find their way into your inbox.
• The client will call only when you had left for a coffee break. And when you call back, he/she won't be available in office.
• When its a busy day for you, all your colleagues would be chatting just outside your cabin.
• When you don't have much work... all your colleagues will be busy.
• Your Security will insist on you leaving by 7:00 on the very day when you have to stay till 10:00 to meet an important deadline.
• The display settings on your computer will play havoc only when you have to finish a presentation by afternoon.
• Of all the vehicles in the parking, yours would be most difficult to take out when it is an emergency.
• The client would not have gone through the report/brief before attending your well rehearsed presentation.
• The better your presentation, least the impact.
• When you are attending a client call on a colleagues desk, and need to jot down urgently, none of the pens on his desk would write if not you wouldn't find a piece of paper within your reach.
• You'd find the important Phone number/e-mail ID you had been looking for, only after you had got in touch with that person by some other means.
• When you are out of office, the most important of phone calls would be attended by the least concerned of your colleagues who wouldn't even care to ask who it was.. or wouldn't remember.
• Only on the rarest of the days you come late, you'd bump into your boss smoking at the entrance.
• The floppy which worked perfectly alright few minutes ago on your machine will not open in your boss's or client's machine.
• The stapler will be out of pins when needed. 
•  The frequency of mailing performed by a person varies in inverse proportion to the amount of work at hand 
•  The 90-90 Rule of Project Management:
  The first 90% of a project requires 90% of the allotted time. The remaining 10% takes another 90% of the allotted time. 
•  When reading this page at work your boss will pop-up (behind your back) and ask you why aren't you working. 
•  Rule #1: The boss is always right
  Rule #2: If the boss is wrong refer to rule #1

Economy...

 

Man Submits Drawing Of Spider Instead Of Payment For Overdue Account

David Thorne didn't have the $233.95 to pay an overdue account. So what did he do? What any other budding young genius would do, he submitted a picture of a spider he drew instead. Unfortunately, Jane Gilles, who is clearly a mega-bitch to the nth degree, wouldn't accept it.

Happy Thanksgiving

 

Look both ways before you cross the, er, grass

 

Garfield Logic

 

A Sweet Wedding Invitation

 

British Humor

 

Bank FAQs

First published in the British humour magazine "Punch" :

Q: What are banks for? 

A: To make money.

Q: For the customers?

A: For the banks.

Q: Why doesn't bank advertising mention this?

A: It would not be in good taste. But it is mentioned by implication in references to reserves of $249,000,000, 000 or thereabouts. That is the money they have made.

Q: Out of the customers?

A: I suppose so.

Q: They also mention Assets of $500,000,000, 000 or thereabouts. Have they made that too?

A: Not exactly. That is the money they use to make money.

Q: I see. And they keep it in a safe somewhere?

A: Not at all. They lend it to customers.

Q: Then they haven't got it?

A: No.

Q: Then how is it Assets?

A: They maintain that it would be if they got it back.

Q: But they must have some money in a safe somewhere?

A: Yes, usually $500,000,000, 000 or thereabouts. This is called Liabilities.

Q: But if they've got it, how can they be liable for it?

A: Because it isn't theirs.

Q: Then why do they have it?

A: It has been lent to them by customers.

Q: You mean customers lend banks money?

A: In effect. They put money into their accounts, so it is really lent to the banks.

Q: And what do the banks do with it?

A: Lend it to other customers.

Q: But you said that money they lent to other people was Assets?

A: Yes.

Q: Then Assets and Liabilities must be the same thing?

A: You can't really say that.

Q: But you've just said it! If I put $100 into my account the bank is liable to have to pay it back, so it's Liabilities. But they go and lend it to someone else, and he is liable to have to pay it back, so it's Assets. It's the same $100 isn't it?

A: Yes, but....

Q: Then it cancels out. It means, doesn't it, that banks haven't really any money at all?

A: Theoretically. .....

Q: Never mind theoretically! And if they haven't any money, where do they get their Reserves of $249,000,000, 000 or thereabouts? ?

A: I told you. That is the money they have made.

Q: How?

A: Well, when they lend your $100 to someone they charge him interest.

Q: How much?

A: It depends on the Bank Rate. Say five and a-half percent. That's their profit.

Q: Why isn't it my profit? Isn't it my money?

A: It's the theory of banking practice that........ .

Q: When I lend them my $100 why don't I charge them interest?

A: You do.

Q: You don't say. How much?

A: It depends on the Bank Rate. Say a half percent.

Q: Grasping of me, rather?

A: But that's only if you're not going to draw the money out again.

Q: But of course I'm going to draw the money out again! If I hadn't wanted to draw it out again I could have buried it in the garden!

A: They wouldn't like you to draw it out again.

Q: Why not? If I keep it there you say it's a Liability. Wouldn't they be glad if I reduced their Liabilities by removing it?

A: No. Because if you remove it they can't lend it to anyone else.

Q: But if I wanted to remove it they'd have to let me?

A: Certainly.

Q: But suppose they've already lent it to another customer?

A: Then they'll let you have some other customers money.

Q: But suppose he wants his too....and they've already let me have it?

A: You're being purposely obtuse.

Q: I think I'm being acute. What if everyone wanted their money all at once?

A: It's the theory of banking practice that they never would.

Q: So what banks bank on, is not having to meet their commitments?

A: I wouldn't say that.

Q: Naturally. Well, if there's nothing else you think you can tell me....?

A: Quite so. Now you can go off and open a banking account!

Q: Just one last question.

A: Of course.

Q: Wouldn't I do better to go off and open up a bank?

Too much security...

 

Damage Testing

It seems the US Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) has a unique device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. The device is a gun that launches a dead chicken at a plane's windshield at approximately the speed the plane flies.

The theory is that if the windshield doesn't crack from the carcass impact, it'll survive a real collision with a bird during flight. It seems the British were very interested in this and wanted to test a windshield on a brand new, speedy locomotive they're developing.

They borrowed the FAA's chicken launcher, loaded the chicken and fired. The ballistic chicken shattered the windshield, went through the engineer's chair, broke an instrument panel and embedded itself in the back wall of the engine cab. The British were stunned and asked the FAA to recheck the test to see if everything was done correctly.

The FAA reviewed the test thoroughly and had one recommendation: "Use a thawed chicken."

Jab North Met South

 

Change!!!

Poor Man's Vaction

 

The Knack

Dont let mother in law's to design your wedding invitations

 

Trick or Reality?

Sarah Palin Debate Flow Chart

Took the Girlfriend Shopping