Why are teachers so stressed?

 

Software Engineer Dialogues

 

A few words from tech support

1. Don't write anything down. We can play back the error messages from here.

2. When a tech. says he's coming right over, go for coffee. It's nothing to us to remember 3,000 screen saver passwords.

3. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies, and popsicle art. We don't have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.

4. When you call the help desk, state what you want, not what's keeping you from getting it. We don't need to know that you can't get into your mail because your computer won't power on at all.

5. Don't put your 'phone extension in your e-mails to the help desk. We need to keep an eye on the address book performance.

6. When tech. support sends you an e-mail with high importance, delete it at once. We're just testing the public groups.

7. When a tech. is eating lunch in his cube, walk right in and spill your guts right out. We exist only to serve.

8. When a tech. is having a smoke outside, ask him a computer question. The only reason why we smoke at all is to ferret out those clients who don't have e-mail or a telephone line.

9. Send urgent e-mail all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up and flags it as a rush delivery.

10. When you call a tech's direct line, press 5 to skip the bilingual greeting that says he's out of town for a week, record your message and wait exactly 24 hours before you send an e-mail straight to the director because no one ever returned your call. You're entitled to common courtesy.

11. When the photocopier doesn't work, call computer support. There's electronics in it.

12. When you're getting a NO DIAL TONE message at home, call computer support. We can fix your line from here.

13. When you have a dozen CGA monitors to get rid of, call computer support. We're collectors.

14. When something's wrong with your home PC, dump it on a tech's chair with no name, no phone number, and no description of the problem. We love a puzzle.

15. If you hate your mouse, get some other pointing device and discard the manual. We know all the keyboard accelerators.

16. When a tech. tells you that computer monitors don't have cartridges in them, argue. We love a good argument.

17. When you get a message about insufficient disk space, delete everything in the Windows directory. It's nothing but trouble anyway.

18. When you get a message about a hard disk controller failure, and then you reboot and it looks okay, don't call tech. support. We'd much rather troubleshoot it when it's dead as a doornail.

19. When you have a tech. on the 'phone walking you through changing a setting, read the paper. We don't actually mean for you to do anything; we just love to hear ourselves talk.

20. When a tech. tells you that he'll be there shortly, reply in a scathing tone of voice: "And just how many weeks do you mean by shortly?" That'll get us going.

21. If you have a 14-inch monitor that says VGA on it, set the display to true color, 1024 x 768. You'll never again have to worry about people reading confidential files over your shoulder.

22. When we offer training on the upcoming OS upgrade, don't bother. We'll be there to hold your hand after it's done.

23. When the printer won't print, re-send the job at least 20 times. Print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes.

24. When the printer still won't print after 20 tries, send the job to all 68 printers in the branch. One of them is bound to work.

25. Don't learn the proper name for anything technical. We know exactly what you mean by "my thingy's outta whack".

26. Don't use on-line help. On-line help is for wimps.

27. If you're taking night classes in computer science, feel free to go around and update the network drivers for your all your co-workers. We're grateful for the overtime money.

28. When a tech. makes popcorn, help yourself while he's checking out your access rights. And we keep chocolate in the top drawer, too.

29. When you have a tech. fixing your computer at a quarter past noon, eat your lunch in his face. We function better when slightly dizzy.

30. Don't ever thank us. We're getting paid for this.

31. If you're an intern, feel free to bring in all your friends from college and have your Daddy complain to our boss when we won't let them use the scanner. We had no friends when we were in college; that's why we're such a bunch of tight-assed little twerps.

32. When a tech. asks you whether you've installed any new software on this computer, lie. It's nobody's business what you've got on your computer.

33. When a tech. finds the AOL shortcuts in your Recycle Bin, tell her you've never seen those before. We couldn't tell bullshit if it kicked us in the face.

34. If you have NT, feel free to change the local administrator's password to "biteme" and promptly forget it. We like installing NT.

35. If the mouse cable keeps knocking down the framed picture of your dog, lift the computer and stuff the cable under it. Mouse cables were designed to have 45 lbs. of computer sitting on top of them.

36. If the space bar on your keyboard doesn't work, blame it on the mail upgrade. Keyboards are actually very happy with half a pound of muffin crumbs and nail clippings in them.

37. When you receive the new Yanni CD for your birthday, shove it into any slot on the front of your computer. We like getting physical with 5.25" floppy drives.

38. When you get a message saying "Are you sure?", click on that "Yes" button as fast as you can. Hell, if you weren't sure, you wouldn't be doing it, would you?

39. When you find a tech. on the 'phone with his bank, sit uninvited on the corner of his desk and stare at him until he hangs up. We don't have any money to speak of anyway.

40. Feel perfectly free to say things like "I don't know nothing about that computer crap". We don't mind at all hearing our area of professional expertise referred to as crap.

41. When you need to change the toner cartridge, call tech. support. Changing a toner cartridge is an extremely complex task, and Hewlett-Packard recommends that it be performed only by a professional engineer with a master's degree in nuclear physics.

42. When you can't find someone in the government directory, call tech. support. Due to budget restrictions, we double as 013.

43. When you have a lock to pick on an old file cabinet, call tech. support. We love to hack.

44. When something's the matter with your computer, ask your secretary to call the help desk. We enjoy the challenge of having to deal with a third party who doesn't know jack shit about the problem.

45. When you receive a 30-meg movie file, send it to everyone as a mail attachment. We got lots of disk space on that mail server.

46. Don't even think of breaking large print jobs down into smaller chunks. Somebody else might get a chance to squeeze a memo into the queue.

47. When your eyes fall on the family pictures on a tech's desk, exclaim in a flabbergasted tone of voice: "YOU have a child?!?" We need to be reminded of how lucky we were to ever have got laid.

48. When a tech. gets on the elevator pushing 15,000 worth of computer equipment on a cart, ask in a very loud voice: "Good grief, you take the elevator to go DOWN one floor?!?" That's another one that cracks us up no end.

49. When the Finance folks are printing a 100-page spreadsheet on the LaserJet, send your black and white print job to the color printer. We get the black toner for free.

50. When you lose your car keys, send an e-mail to the entire department.

People out in Yellowknife like to keep abreast of what's going on.

51. When you bump into a tech. at the grocery store on a Saturday, ask a computer question. We don't do weekends.

52. When you see a tech. having a beer with a member of the opposite sex on a Friday night, walk right up to them and ask a computer question. We don't do dating; the reason why we have that horny look on our faces is because we're discussing the new Intel processor.

53. Don't bother to tell us when you move computers around on your own. Computer names are just a cosmetic feature in NT 4.0; they won't be doing anything useful until the next major release.

54. When you can't access some shared directory on your boss's machine, just tell us that you've lost your X: drive. We know all that shit by heart.

55. If you need to buy a computer for your daughter in college, feel free to pick our brains while we're taking a leak. We're good at talking shop with our dicks in our hands.

56. If your son is a student in computer science, have him come in on the weekends and do his projects on your office computer. We'll be there for you when his illegal copy of Visual BASIC 6.0 makes your Access 95 database flip out.

57. When you bring your own personal home PC for repair at the office, leave the documentation at home. We'll find the jumper settings on the Internet.

58. We're aware of that problem with computers just sitting there and not doing anything. We're confident that with the next service pack they'll be able to dance the jig.

59. The correct location to store important files is the Recycle Bin. It's just like a real office, where you keep your tax receipts in the blue can under your desk.

60. If you miss Windows 3.1, find the line that goes shell=explorer.exe in your SYSTEM.INI file and replace it with shell=progman.exe. It makes troubleshooting infinitely easier when we ask you whether you have a Start button at the bottom of your screen and you truthfully answer us that you don't.

61. If you curse every morning when you start to type your password and the Virus Shield splash screen pops up in your face, disable the Virus Shield. Again, this is just like real life: if you don't like condoms, just don't use them, that's all.

62. If you hate PC's, get on the Internet and download one of those desktop enhancements that make your computer look just like a Mac, down to the sad faces replacing verbose error messages. We find it refreshing to troubleshoot the nuances in that sad little face instead of some cold forbidding hexadecimal integer.

63. When you detect a French accent in a tech's voice, switch to French.
We don't mind that your level of fluency is that of a mildly retarded 4-year-old; you don't make a whole lot of sense in your own mother tongue either.

64. We don't really believe that you're a bunch of ungrateful twits. It hurts our feelings that you could even think such a thing. We wish to express our deepest gratitude to the hundreds of clueless losers portrayed herein, without which none of this would have been remotely possible.

65. Keep it crashin'!

The Stalled Server Room

A few months back, Jen Frickell's company was given some bad news. When their lease ended, they'd have to move out of their second-floor suite. The good news, however, was that a suite would be available on the first floor. All they'd need to do was pack up and move downstairs.

It was a fairly reasonable request, so the company's executives signed a new lease and prepared to move. There was, however, just one, small hitch. The nice little server room they built in the back of their office - equipped with air conditioning units, ventilation, dedicated power, backup power, and so on - could not be relocated. Not only would it cost too much, but there was simply no room for it. The server room would just have to remain upstairs.

Obviously, the new second-floor tenant wouldn't want their neighbors walking through their office to access a server room, so building management and the company's executives came up with an alternative: wall off the server room door and build a new one. It seemed simple enough, but there was, however, just one small hitch. The only available wall to install a door was adjacent to the women's restroom. Inside the handicapped stall.

And since you're reading about it here, you know that didn't stop them. Here is the email from building management:

From: ---- -------- Sent: Monday, May 5, 2008 4:37 PM To: Everyone Subject: Server Room Access  Hi all.   As you all are aware, we have new tenants that have moved into  the 2nd floor suites.  The access to the server room is now via  the women’s bathroom.   There will be a sign on the woman’s door that can be changed  from OPEN to CLOSED and vice versa.   Should you need to enter the server room, please change the sign  to CLOSED.  Once you are done, please change it back to OPEN.   Once you enter the bathroom, you will be able to access the  server room via the handicapped stall. Please close the stall  door prior to entry, just in case someone doesn’t see that the  bathroom is closed.   I know this isn’t ideal, but if we adhere to this protocol, I  don’t think anyone will be disrupted.   Thanks!  Let me know if you have any questions.  ---- -------- Building Management

Obedience School Winner

 

The Scientist and the Frog

There once was a scientist who studied frogs. One day, the scientist put the frog on the ground and told it to jump. The frog jumped four feet.

So the scientist wrote in his notebook, "Frog with four feet, jumps four feet."

So the scientist cut off one of one of the frogs legs. The scientist told the frog to jump. Frog jumped three feet. So the scientist wrote in his note book, "Frog with three feet, jumps three feet."

So the scientist cut of another leg. He told the frog to jump. The frog jumped two feet. So the scientist wrote in his notebook "Frog with two feet, jumps two feet."

The scientist cut off one more leg. He told the frog to jump. Frog jumped one foot. So the scientist wrote in his notebook, "Frog with one foot, jumps one foot."

So the scientist cut off his last leg.

"He said, "Frog jump. Frog jump. FROG JUMP!"

So the scientist wrote in his notebook, "Frog with no feet, goes deaf."

An Irishman's Wish

An Irishman is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it. Out pops a genie. It says, "I will give you three wishes."

The man thinks awhile. Finally he says, "I want a beer that never is empty."

With that, the genie makes a poof sound and on the bar is a bottle of beer. The Irishman starts drinking it and right before it is gone, it starts to refill. The genie asks about his next two wishes.

The man says, "I want two more of these."

Funny Clips

 

Odd Name

There once was a boy whose parents named him "Odd'.  Other children used to tease him about his name, but he refused to be hurt or bothered about it.  As he grew up, people continued to make fun of his name, even after he became a successful attorney.  
 

Finally, as an old man, he wrote out his last wishes.  "I've been the butt of jokes all my life," he wrote.  "I'll not have people making fun of me after I'm gone." 

 

So he instructed that his tombstone not bear his name.  Yet after his death, people would notice his large, blank stone and remark, "That's odd."

Vijay Jokes

 

Mandles

Subaru Forester Carwash

Bush Avatars

 

Preity Zinta after IPL

The Fishermen

Two buddies are fishing, but they haven’t caught anything all day.

 

Then, another fisherman walks by with a huge load of fish. They ask him "Excuse me, but where did you get all those fish?"

 

The other fisherman replies, "If you just go down the stream until the water isn't salty, there are a ton of hungry fish."

 

They thank him and go on their way. 15 minutes later, one fisherman says to the other "Fill the bucket up with water and see if the water is salty."

 

He dips the bucket in the stream and drinks some. "Nope. Still salty."

 

30 minutes later, he asks him to check again. "Nope, still salty."

 

One hour later they check again. "Nope. Still salty."

 

"This isn't good," the fisherman finally says, "We have been walking for almost two hours and the water is still salty!"

 

"I know," says the other. "And the bucket is almost empty!"

Men can do anything...

 

How to Kill your Wife

 

The Elderly Couple

Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, 'Esther,I'd like to ride in that helicopter.'

Esther always replied, 'I know Morris, but that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars'

One year Esther and Morris went to the fair, and Morris said, 'Esther, I'm 85 years old. If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance.'

To this, Esther replied, 'Morris that helicopter ride is fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars.'

The pilot overheard the couple and said, 'Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word, I won't charge you! But if you say one word, it's fifty dollars.'

Morris and Esther agreed and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard. He did his daredevil tricks over and over again, but still not a word.

When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, 'By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't.. I'm impressed!'

Morris replied, 'Well, to tell you the truth, I almost said something when Esther fell out, but you know, fifty dollars is fifty dollars!'

Father's Day Gift

A new nail gun made by DeWalt.

 

It can drive a 6-D nail thru a 2 X 4 at 200 yards.

 

This makes construction a real breeze; you can sit in your lawn chair and build a fence.  Just get the wife and kids to hold the fence boards in place while you sit back and relax with a cold beer.  When they have the board in the right place, just fire away. With the hundred round magazine, you can build a fence with a minimum of reloading.

After a day of fence building with the new Dewalt Rapid fire nail gun, the wife will not ask you fix or build anything else -- ever again.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......

DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!  It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.

GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the
chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its
life long dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ......... reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

Out of Office Replies

I am currently out at a job interview and will reply
to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for
my mood.

******************

You are receiving this automatic notification because
I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you
wouldn't have received anything at all.

******************

Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors
having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to
management

******************

I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless
emails you send me until I return from vacation on
4/18. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted
in the order it was received.

******************

Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been
charged £5.99 for the first ten words and £1.99 for
each additional word in your message

******************

The e-mail server is unable to verify your server
connection and is unable to deliver this message.
Please restart your computer and try sending again.'


(The beauty of this one is that when you return, you
can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and
over).

******************
Thank you for your message, which has been added to a
queueing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and
can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19
weeks.

******************

Please reply to this e-mail so I will know that you
got this message.

******************

I am on holiday. Your e-mail has been deleted.

******************

Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me.
Please wait by your PC for my response.

******************

Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new job.
Don't bother to leave me any messages.

******************

I've run away to join a different circus.

******************

I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for
medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as
'Loretta' instead of 'Steve'.

They forgot me...

 

A Metaphor

An Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand pulling a male buffalo with the other.  He says to the waiter: 'Want coffee.'

The waiter says, 'Sure, Chief. Coming right up.'  He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee.  The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter everywhere and then just walks out.

The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand, pulling another male buffalo with the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, 'Want coffee.'

The waiter says 'Whoa, Tonto!  We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday.  What was all that about, anyway?'

The Indian smiles and proudly says, 'Training for position in United States Congress: Come in, drink coffee, shoot the bull, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day.'

Professional Touch

நீ சொன்னாய் என்பதற்காகத்தான் உனது அப்பாவிடம் பேசிப் பார்க்கலாம் என்ற முடிவுக்கு வந்தேன். 'அலுவலகத்தில் இருக்கிறேன், நீல்கிரிஸில் சாயங்கலாம் சந்திக்கலாம்' என உன் தகப்பன் தொலைபேசியில் சொன்னபோது கடமை தவறாதவனின் மகளைத்தான் காதலித்திருக்கிறோம் என இறுமாந்திருந்தேன்.

     சொன்னபடி ஐந்து மணிக்கெல்லாம் வந்தமர்ந்த உனது அப்பனைப் பார்த்த போது 'எருமை மாட்டிற்கு மான் குட்டி எப்படி பிறந்தது?!' என்ற பழைய கவிதைதான் நினைவிற்கு வந்தது. மான்குட்டி என்ற வர்ணனை உனக்கு அதிக பட்சம்தான் என்றாலும் எருமை மாடு என்பது உனது அப்பனுக்கு மிகக் குறைந்த பட்சம்தான். அந்தக் கடையில் பில் போடுவதற்காக இருந்த கம்ப்யூட்டரைத் தவிர மீதம் இருந்த அனைத்தையும் தீன்று தீர்த்துவிடும் வெறி அவரது கண்களில் மின்னியதை நான் கவனிக்கத் தவறிவிட்டேன். சரி எதையாவது சாப்பிட்டுவிட்டு பேச்சைத் துவங்கலாம் என சர்வரை அழைத்தேன். அதற்குப் பின் உனது அப்பனின் கைங்கர்யத்தால் சமையல் கட்டிற்கும் டேபிளிற்கும் இடையே சுமார் ஐம்பது ஓட்டங்கள் எடுத்தான் சர்வர். ராயப்பாஸிலும், தலப்பாகட்டிலும் நீ புஃல் கட்டு கட்டுவது ஒரு ஜெனடிக் பிரச்சனை என்பதைக் கண்டுகொண்டேன். வேழ முகம்தான் இல்லையே தவிர பேழை வயிறு இருக்கிறது உன் பரம்பரைக்கே...

     அவரது வேட்டையை முடிவுக்கு கொண்டு வர இயலாதவனாக கையறு நிலையில் இருந்தபோது ' தம்பி இப்பல்லாம் முன்ன மாதிரி சாப்பிட முடியறதில்லபா... வயசாச்சில்ல...' என தன் திருவாய் மலர்ந்தார். திடப்பொருட்களிலிருந்து ரோஸ்மில்க் போன்ற திரவப் பொருட்களுக்கு மாறினார். அப்பாடா, முடித்து விட்டார் என்ற ஆசுவாசத்தை 'ஒரு கஸாடா' என்ற வார்த்தையில் உடைத்தார். கஸாட்டாவும், ஜர்தா பீடாவும் சாப்பிடுவதில்லை என்பதைத் தவிர திருச்செந்தூர் கோவிலில் உண்டைக்கட்டிக்கு காத்திருக்கும் கோவில் யானைக்கும் உனது அப்பனுக்கும் ஆறு வித்தியாசங்கள் கூட இல்லை.  'தம்பி எப்ப சாப்பிட்டாலும் கடைசியா ஒரு ஐஸ் க்ரீம் சாப்பிடுறது நல்லதுப்பா' என்ற அவரது கூற்றில் இருந்த கடைசியா எனும் வார்த்தைதான் எனக்கு வாழ்வின் மீது நம்பிக்கையை ஏற்படுத்தியது.

     'சார், நான் உங்க பொண்ணை விரும்புறேன். அவளையே கல்யாணம் பண்ணிக்க ஆசைப்படுறேன். அது விஷயமாப் பேசத்தான் உங்களுக்கு போன் பண்ணினேன்' என்று மெல்ல பேச்சைத் துவங்கினேன். 'அப்ப போனவாரம் இதே விஷயமாப் பேச 'ஆனந்த பவனுக்கு' வந்தது நீங்க இல்லையா தம்பி?!' என ஆச்சர்யமாக அவர் கேட்டபோதுதான், மொத்தக்குடும்பமும் இரை எடுப்பதற்கென்றே எவனையாவது இரையாக்குவதை புரொபஷனல் டச்சோடு செய்கிறீர்கள் என்பதை உணர்ந்தேன். " தம்பி இது பெரிய விஷயம், ஒரு நாளில் பேசித் தீர்த்துவிட முடியாது. நீங்க ஒன்னு பண்ணுங்க... நாளக்கி சாயங்காலம் அன்னபூர்ணா வந்துடுங்க... அப்ப பேசிக்கலாம்" என்ற உனது தகப்பனைக் கொலை செய்ய அந்த நேரம் என்னிடம் துப்பாக்கி இல்லாமல் போனது துர்பாக்கியமே. 

Time for some male bashing.....

Q: What is the difference between men and puppies?

A: Puppies grow up.
 
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Q: Why do men always have a stupid look on their faces?

A: Because they are...

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Q: What do men have in common with ceramic tiles?

A: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them forever.
 
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Q: If you drop a man and a brick out of a plane, which one would hit the ground first?

A: Who cares?????.....
 
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Q: What did God say after he created man?

A: I can do better than this! And then he created woman!!!.
 
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Q: What's the difference between an intelligent man & a UFO ?

A: I don't know, I've never seen either.
 
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Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?

A: i) no mind ii) no business

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Q: Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?

A:! Because even back then men wouldn't ask for directions .

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Q: What is the difference between men and pigs?

A: Pigs don't turn into men when they drink...

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Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

A: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no intention of driving.

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Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift?

A: Exchange him!!
 
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Q: Why do men like smart women?

A: Opposites attract.

Boys will be Boys