UnderStanding Engineers

 

UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE ONE

 

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She took one look at me, threw the bike to the ground and said to me, 'Take what you want' , so I did."

The second engineer nodded approvingly.

"Good choice; girl friend wouldn't do any good to you."

 

UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE TWO

 

To the optimist, the glass is half full.

To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.

To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

 

 

UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE THREE

 

What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?

Mechanical Engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.

 

UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE FOUR

 

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."

Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."

The last one said, "Actually it must have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

 

UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE FIVE

 

Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.

 

UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE SIX

 

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both."

"Both?"

Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done."

 

UNDERSTANDING ENGINEERS - TAKE SEVEN

 

An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.

The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girl friend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."