Out of Office Replies

I am currently out at a job interview and will reply
to you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for
my mood.

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You are receiving this automatic notification because
I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you
wouldn't have received anything at all.

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Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors
having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to
management

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I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless
emails you send me until I return from vacation on
4/18. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted
in the order it was received.

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Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been
charged £5.99 for the first ten words and £1.99 for
each additional word in your message

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The e-mail server is unable to verify your server
connection and is unable to deliver this message.
Please restart your computer and try sending again.'


(The beauty of this one is that when you return, you
can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and
over).

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Thank you for your message, which has been added to a
queueing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and
can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19
weeks.

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Please reply to this e-mail so I will know that you
got this message.

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I am on holiday. Your e-mail has been deleted.

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Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me.
Please wait by your PC for my response.

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Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new job.
Don't bother to leave me any messages.

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I've run away to join a different circus.

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I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for
medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as
'Loretta' instead of 'Steve'.