e-fun

Drunken Sailor

2010-11-02T21:06:00.000-07:00

New Seat Belt System

2010-11-02T21:04:00.000-07:00

Girl quits her job on dry erase board, emails entire office (33 Photos)

2010-10-29T01:47:00.000-07:00

Aircraft Paint Job - Kulula Airlines South Africa

2010-10-29T01:45:00.001-07:00

Frozen Computer

2010-10-29T01:43:00.001-07:00

Bob was in the process of shutting down a software company that he had built over the past seven years. He had found a buyer for all of the software that he'd developed, collected his "eff you money" and was now retiring.

In fact, things were at the point where Bob had already closed the building and redirected the phones to his home phone with a distinctive ring so that he could tie up loose ends while the building was up for sale.

Bob woke one morning at 8:00am to the phone ringing, crawled out of bed and picked up the ‘Bat Phone,' as he called it, in the living room.

"Hello?" Bob said, and gave the name of the company.

Without preamble or introduction, Bob was informed by a woman's voice, "Hi this is Sally Brumbaker, my user id is smb1985. My computer's frozen."

Bob didn't recognize the voice and certainly not the name. Also, it was before coffee. "Your computer's frozen?" Bob affirmed.

"Yes."

"Is the side cold?" Bob asked matter of factly.

"Wait a minute," replied Sally, and then after a pause, "No not at all."

"Ok, then," Bob assured her. "Your computer's not frozen, then, it's probably just running a program. Give it a minute."

"I don't understand, what do…" the woman began, and then, "Oh, ok. There is goes." and that, she hung up the phone and Bob did the same, thinking about how much cream to put into his coffee.

THREE MONTHS LATER

The ‘Bat Phone’ rings. Though the company had long been put to bed, Bob was suddenly reminded of was that he’d forgotten to stop the phone service.

"Hello?" Bob asked, and with a little hesitation, gave the name of his (now non-existent) company.

"Hello,” introduced the caller in a very serious tone, “I need to speak to someone in charge of your technical support."

"Well, that's pretty much me,” replied Bob, “What do you need?"

"Did you or someone working for you tell Sally So-And-So that she could tell if a computer was frozen by feeling the side?"

"What?"

"Sally says she called this number three months ago, and was informed by a support tech that she could tell if a PC was frozen by feeling for the side being cold. Since then, she's been feeling the sides of people's computers, and she's completely humiliated."

"Sally works in your IT department?" Bob asked.

"No, Sally is the Director of our human resources department," Bob was informed.

"And this is...?"

"I sit on the board for Plainston-Princeboro Teaching Hospital."

"I see. So, Sally hires doctors and nurses."

"She does - and now she's been humiliated by you or someone at your company,” huffed the voice on the phone,” What do you have to say for yourself?"

"Well, first," Bob answered, "I'd like to say that, if I get seriously hurt, I'll drag myself right past YOUR hospital."

"WHAT!?"

"Sir," Bob said, with great sincerely, "you have to admit, that's pretty dumb."

Suddenly, the man on the other end of the line was at a sudden loss for words.

"Ok," he said finally, a little deflated, "Sally isn't the most computer savvy person we have, but that doesn't give you the right to prey on her..."

"Sir," Bob said, "I took that call, Sally didn't identify herself, and as soon as she thought she had an answer from me, she hung up the phone before I could explain that I was kidding. I'm sorry if I humiliated her, but I have no idea how she got my number and this isn't a computer technical support company."

"Oh, I see," the person informed Bob. "We’ll, just be more careful, next time,” and with that, hung up the phone.

Since then, Bob disconnected the ‘Bat Phone’ for good, officially severing himself from his old life, but still gets a chuckle thinking of a smartly dressed executive going through the hospital, troubleshooting issues by feeling the sides of PC's and telling their users whether they were frozen of not.

Grandparents

2010-10-29T01:24:00.001-07:00

1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful
eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After
she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But
Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably
never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet
paper good-bye....

2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He
asked me how old I was, and I told him, 62. My grandson was quiet for a
moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"

3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into
old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair.. As she
heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew
thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their
room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the
room, she heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was
THAT?"

4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own
childhood was like. "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing
made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our
pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I
sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know
how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and I said, "No,
how are we alike?'' "You're both old," he replied.

6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word
processor... She told him she was writing a story.
"What's it about?" he asked.
"I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

7. I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I
decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it
was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I
continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, "Grandma, I think
you should try to figure out some of these colors yourself!"

8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the
lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects.
Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy
whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us
with flashlights.."

9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm
not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised "Mine says I'm
4 to 6."

10. A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother,
"Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The
grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool.
"That's interesting." she said. "How do you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add
'es'."

11. Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said
a teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder
pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you
know what pregnant means?" she asked.
"Sure," said the young boy confidently. 'It means carrying a child."

12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day
when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire
truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's
duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one child.
"No," said another. "He's just for good luck."
A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she
said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."

13. A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. "Oh," he said, "she
lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then,
when we're done having her visit, we take her back to the airport."

14. Grandpa is the smartest man on earth! He teaches me good things, but
I don't get to see him enough to get as smart as him!

1919 Poster - Wouldn't you rather drink...

2010-10-29T01:19:00.001-07:00

Platonic Love

2010-10-29T01:15:00.001-07:00

Irony

2010-10-29T01:05:00.001-07:00

Private Parking

2010-10-29T01:03:00.001-07:00

How pumpkin pies are made

2010-10-25T02:52:00.002-07:00

Objective for the Year

2010-10-25T02:52:00.001-07:00

Golf when you're 90

2010-10-18T01:57:00.000-07:00

Arthur is 90 years old. He's played golf every day since his retirement 25 years ago.

One day he arrives home looking downcast.

"That's it," he tells his wife. "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has got so bad. Once I've hit the ball, I can't see where it went."

His wife sympathizes. As they sit down, she has a suggestion: "Why don't you take my brother with you, and give it one more try."

"That's no good," sighs Arthur. "Your brother is a hundred and three. He can't help."

"He may be a hundred and three," says the wife, "but his eyesight is perfect."

So the next day, Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law.

He tees up, takes an almighty swing, and squints down the fairway. He turns to the brother-in-law. "Did you see the ball?"

"Of course I did!", says the brother-in-law. "I have perfect eyesight."

"Where did it go?" asks Arthur.

"Can't remember."

Traffic Camera

2010-10-18T00:26:00.000-07:00

I was driving when I saw the flash of a traffic camera. I figured that my picture had been taken for exceeding the limit even though I knew that I was not speeding.

Just to be sure, I went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed.

Now I began to think that this was quite funny, so I drove even slower as I passed the area once more, but the traffic camera again flashed.

I tried a fourth and fifth time with the same results and was now laughing as the camera flashed while I rolled past at a snail's pace.

Two weeks later, I got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt.

You know, you just can't fix stupid.

She Sells...

2010-10-18T00:22:00.000-07:00

A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One
summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach almost every day. She
wasn't unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one
thing: She would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance
around and then speak to them.

Generally, the people would respond negatively and she would wander off.
But occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange
of money and something that she carried in her bag.

The couple assumed that she was selling drugs and debated calling the
cops, but since they didn't know for sure, they decided to just continue
watching her.

After a couple of weeks the wife said, 'Honey, have you ever noticed
that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic
devices?' He hadn't and said so.

Then she said, 'Tomorrow I want you to get a towel and our big radio and
go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what she's really doing.'

Well, the plan went off without a hitch and the wife was almost hopping
up and down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband
and then leave. The man then walked up the beach and met his wife at the
road.

'Well, is she selling drugs?' she asked excitedly. 'No, she's not,' he
said, enjoying this probably more than he should have.

'Well, what is it then? What does she do ?' his wife fairly shrieked.

The man grinned and said, 'She's a battery salesperson.'

'Batteries?' cried the wife.

'Yes!' he replied.

'She Sells C-Cells by the Seashore!'

Traffic accidents: watch out for non-drunk drivers

2010-10-15T06:24:00.000-07:00

A recent joint study conducted by the Department of Health and the Department of Motor Vehicles indicates that 23% of traffic accidents are alcohol related.

This means that the remaining 77% are caused by jerks who just drink coffee, carbonated drinks, juices, yogurts, and dumb stuff like that.

Therefore, beware of those who do not drink alcohol. They cause more than three times as many accidents.

The 17th At TPC Sawgrass

2010-10-15T06:23:00.000-07:00

A golfer, now into his golden years, had a lifelong ambition to play the
17th hole at TPC Sawgrass in Ponte Verde, Fla., exactly the way the pros
do it.

The pros drive the ball out over the water onto the small green that is
on a small spit of land. It was something the golfer had tried hundreds
of times without success. His ball had always fallen short, into the
water.

Because of this, he never used a new ball on this particular hole. He
always picked out one that had a cut or a nick, as did many other
"average" golfers when negotiating very challenging holes.

Recently he went to Sawgrass to try again. When he came to the fateful
hole, he teed up an old, cut ball as usual, and said a silent prayer.

However, before he could hit the ball, a powerful voice from above
seemed to be booming out from the clouds, saying:

"Wait! Replace that old ball with a brand new one."

The golfer complied, with some slight misgivings, despite the fact that
this same force seemed to be implying that he was going to finally
achieve his lifelong ambition.

As he stepped up to the tee once more, the voice came down again:

"Wait. Step back. Take a practice swing."

So he stepped back and took a practice swing, certain now that this
heavenly force was going to make his dream come true.

The voice boomed out again:

"Take another practice swing."

Dutifully, he did. He stopped expectantly and waited ...

A long silence followed ...

Then the voice again:

"Use the old ball."

Don't Despair

2010-10-07T20:40:00.000-07:00

Sitting by the window of her convent, Sister Barbara opened a letter
from home one evening. Inside the letter was a $100 bill her parents had
sent.

Sister Barbara smiled at the gesture. As she read the letter by the
window, she noticed a shabbily dressed stranger leaning against the lamp
post below.

Quickly, she wrote, "Don't despair. Sister Barbara," on a piece of
paper, wrapped the $100 bill in it, got the man's attention and tossed
it out the window to him.. The stranger picked it up, and with a puzzled
expression and a tip of his hat, went off down the street.

The next day, Sister Barbara was told that a man was at her door,
insisting on seeing her. She went down, and found the stranger waiting.

Without a word, he handed her a huge wad of $100 bills.

"What's this?" she asked.

"That's the $8,000 you have coming Sister," he replied.

"Don't Despair paid 80-to-1."

Casino Royale, with Cheese

2010-10-05T01:29:00.000-07:00

Rule 1 when making a fake drivers license...

2010-10-05T01:18:00.000-07:00

Doctor and Lawyer

2010-09-29T21:18:00.000-07:00

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party.

Their conversation was constantly interrupted by people describing their
ailments and asking the doctor for free medical advice.

After an hour of this, the exasperated doctor asked the lawyer, "What do
you do to stop people from asking you for legal advice when you're out
of the office?"

"I give it to them," replied the lawyer, "and then I send them a bill."

The doctor was shocked, but agreed to give it a try.

The next day, still feeling slightly guilty, the doctor prepared the
bills.

When he went to place them in his mailbox, he found a bill from the
lawyer.

The Joys of Parenthood

2010-09-27T01:11:00.000-07:00

Password Encryption

2010-09-22T02:33:00.000-07:00

<Cthon98> hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
<Cthon98> ********* see!
<AzureDiamond> hunter2
<AzureDiamond> doesnt look like stars to me
<Cthon98> <AzureDiamond> *******
<Cthon98> thats what I see
<AzureDiamond> oh, really?
<Cthon98> Absolutely
<AzureDiamond> you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
<AzureDiamond> haha, does that look funny to you?
<Cthon98> lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that
<Cthon98> yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> awesome!
<AzureDiamond> wait, how do you know my pw?
<Cthon98> er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
<AzureDiamond> oh, ok.

Could be worse...

2010-09-14T20:03:00.000-07:00

There I was is sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.

"Well, whatcha gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.

"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can`t stand to see a man crying."

"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure.

I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my old lady in bed with the gardener and then my dog bit me."

"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; then you show up and drink the whole thing! But enough about me, how's your day going?"

Baby Care

2010-09-02T22:05:00.000-07:00

Pun

2010-09-02T21:56:00.000-07:00

The Mama Test

2010-08-18T01:32:00.000-07:00

I was out walking with my 4-year-old daughter. She picked up something
off of the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item
away from her and I asked her not to do that.

'Why?' my daughter asked.

'Because it's been on the ground; you don't know where it's been, it's
dirty, and probably has germs,' I replied.

At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked,
'Mama, how do you know all this stuff? You are so smart.'

I was thinking quickly and replied, 'All moms know this stuff... It's
on the Mama Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mama.'

We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently
pondering this new information.

'Oh.....I get it!' she beamed, 'So if you don't pass the test you have
to be the dad.'

'Exactly,' I replied with a big smile on my face.

Career Growth

2010-07-29T04:29:00.000-07:00

IPhone

2010-07-28T03:18:00.000-07:00

Instant Karma

2010-07-26T02:47:00.000-07:00

Bad Kitty

2010-07-20T05:04:00.000-07:00

Apple Product Evolution

2010-06-29T00:03:00.000-07:00

I Agree

2010-04-18T19:17:00.001-07:00

How many does it take...

2010-03-26T03:54:00.001-07:00

Q: How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. It's a hardware problem!

I Fixed the Internet

2010-03-16T04:45:00.001-07:00

A Physics Love Letter

2010-03-03T03:29:00.000-08:00

Dear -ve charge,

It was a fine morning that I saw you in Physics Lab and a Torque began acting on me, which made me to rotate about your axis. A force of gravity began attracting me towards you. Every time, day and night, you are oscillating in my mind. But, your strong Electrostatics brother began repelling me.

Since the Units and Dimensions were not correct, I avoided talking face to face. One day, I saw him outside my house and an electric shock was produced in me. So, I went in an Inertial frame and tried to integrate your phone number.

But, every time I failed to apply the Limits. You are the light of my life. By Doppler's effect, I feel that you are very close to my heart. Today morning, a Pseudo force was acting on me which compelled me to write the letter. A wave is traveling from you to me. I request you to meet me at Adiabetic Park. Please don't differentiate me. I am in Tension.

Yours Attractively,
+ve charge

The Joys of "Social Networking"

2010-02-26T03:59:00.001-08:00

Ultimate Outsourcing

2010-02-26T03:58:00.001-08:00

Die Hard Cisco!

2010-02-26T03:57:00.001-08:00

Helping Hand

2010-02-26T03:54:00.000-08:00

A couple is in bed sleeping when there's a rat-a-tat-tat on the door.

The husband rolls over and looks at the clock, and it's half past 3 in the morning.” I’m not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. So he drags himself out of bed, goes downstairs, opens the door, and there's a man standing there. It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk.

"Hi there," slurs the stranger, "Can you give me a push?"

"No, get lost. It's half past three and I was in bed," says the man as he slams the door.

He goes back up to bed and tell his wife what happened and she says, "That wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby-sitter and you had to knock on that man's house to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost?"

"But the guy was drunk," says the husband.

"It doesn't matter," says the wife.” He needs our help and it would be the Christian thing to help him." So the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs.

He opens the door, and not being able to see the stranger anywhere, he shouts, "Hey, do you still want a push?"

And he hears a voice cry out, "Yeah, please."

So, still being unable to see the stranger he shouts, "Where are you?" The drunk replies, "Over here, on the swing."

Construction Workers

2010-02-26T03:43:00.001-08:00

An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese fellow were hired at a
construction site. The foreman pointed out a huge pile of sand and told
the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping." To the Scotsman he
said, "You're in charge of shoveling." And to the Chinese guy, "You're
in charge of supplies."

He then said, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you
guys to make a dent in that there pile."
The foreman went away for a of couple hours, and, when he returned, the
pile of sand was untouched. He asked the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep
any of it?" The Italian replied, "I no hava no broom. You said to the
Chinese fella that he a wasa in a charge of supplies, but he hasa
disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere." Then the foreman turned
to the Scotsman and said, "And you, I thought I told you to shovel this
pile."

The Scotsman replied, "Aye, ye did lad, boot ah couldnay get meself a
shoovel! Ye left th' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah
couldnay fin' him either." The foreman was really angry by now and
stormed off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese guy.

Just then, the Chinese guy jumped out from behind the pile of sand and
yelled...
"SUPPLIES!!"

If Mr. Bean was in Avatar...

2010-02-24T02:55:00.001-08:00

Priorities

2010-02-17T08:10:00.000-08:00

News Report

2010-02-17T08:09:00.000-08:00

Crunch

2010-02-17T08:07:00.000-08:00

BudLight

2010-02-17T08:06:00.000-08:00

Stay Away

2010-02-17T08:04:00.000-08:00

Small Fight

2010-02-17T08:03:00.000-08:00

Sci Fi

2010-02-17T08:01:00.000-08:00

Ice Ice

2010-02-17T07:56:00.001-08:00

Dancing Driver

2010-02-17T07:51:00.000-08:00

Fishing

2010-02-17T07:47:00.000-08:00

Quality at its best....!!!

2010-02-17T07:07:00.000-08:00

Eureka, I fixed it

2010-02-17T06:32:00.000-08:00

Missed the boat

2010-02-17T06:19:00.001-08:00

Homewok

2010-02-17T06:18:00.001-08:00

Gangsta BMW

2010-02-17T06:16:00.001-08:00

Code Review

2010-02-17T06:12:00.001-08:00

DNA Question

2010-02-17T06:11:00.001-08:00

Tears of Service

2010-02-17T06:09:00.000-08:00

The Gift

2010-02-17T06:08:00.001-08:00

The Geek

2010-02-17T06:04:00.001-08:00

Late Working

2010-02-17T06:00:00.000-08:00

Corporate Jokes

2010-02-17T05:57:00.001-08:00

What If They Turned Off the Internet?

2010-02-17T05:55:00.002-08:00

Corn Maze for Blondes

2010-02-17T05:55:00.001-08:00

Contractor of the Year!!

2010-02-17T05:53:00.000-08:00

Ho Ho Ho!!!!!

2010-02-17T05:50:00.000-08:00

Dilbert Speaketh

2010-02-17T05:47:00.000-08:00

Software Toons

2010-02-14T23:53:00.000-08:00

There's always someone ...

2010-01-21T22:46:00.001-08:00

For those who are planning Christmas........

2009-12-15T02:43:00.001-08:00

I Want A Raise

2009-12-15T02:40:00.000-08:00

What If They Turned Off the Internet?

2009-12-15T02:37:00.000-08:00

And they were looking for...

2009-12-15T02:24:00.000-08:00

Through thin and thin...

2009-12-15T02:23:00.001-08:00

Susie's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months. Things looked grim, but she was by his bedside every single day. One day as he slipped back into consciousness, he motioned for her to come close to him. She pulled the chair close to the bed and leaned her ear close to be able to hear him.

"You know" he whispered, his eyes filling with tears, "you have been with me through all the bad times. When I got fired, you stuck right beside me. When my business went under, there you were. When we lost the house, you were there. When I got shot, you stuck with me. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. "And you know what?"

"What, dear?" she asked gently, smiling to herself.

"I think you're bad luck!! "

Short Story

2009-12-15T02:21:00.000-08:00

Detailed Project Estimations

2009-12-11T03:44:00.000-08:00

Politically Correct Cartoon

2009-10-23T04:29:00.001-07:00

Action Item Man

2009-10-07T02:22:00.000-07:00

Facebook Mom

2009-09-10T06:13:00.001-07:00

Tech Support Cheat Sheet

2009-09-10T06:01:00.001-07:00

Made in wwwhhaaaatt...?

2009-08-21T06:31:00.000-07:00

M&M's Darwinism

2009-08-04T04:49:00.000-07:00

Betty's Howler

2009-08-04T04:47:00.001-07:00

"Betty," called the teacher, "tell me the meaning of the word 'trickle'."

"To run slowly" said Betty.

"Quite right," said the teacher. "Now tell me the meaning of the word 'anecdote'."

"A short funny tale," said Betty.

"Good girl," said the teacher. "Now let me see if you can give me a sentence with both those words in it."

Betty thought for a moment: "Yes, I know," she said. "Our dog trickled down the street wagging his anecdote."

Street Name

2009-08-04T04:45:00.001-07:00

A young man called directory assistance. "Hello, operator, I would like the telephone number for Mary Jones in Phoenix, Arizona."

"There are multiple listings for Mary Jones in Phoenix," the operator replied. "Do you have a street name?"

The young man hesitated, and then said, "Well, most people call me Ice Man."

Buk! Buk!! Buk!!!

2009-07-09T03:58:00.001-07:00

A pair of chickens walk up to the circulation desk at a public library and say, 'Buk Buk BUK.' The librarian decides that the chickens desire three books, and gives it to them...and the chickens leave shortly thereafter.

Around midday, the two chickens return to the circulation desk quite vexed and say,' Buk Buk BuKKOOK!' The librarian decides that the chickens desire another three books and gives it to them. The chickens leave as before.

The two chickens return to the library in the early afternoon, approach the librarian, looking very annoyed and say, 'Buk Buk Buk Buk Bukkooook!' The librarian is now a little suspicious of these chickens. She gives them what they request, and decides to follow them.

She followed them out of the library, out of the town, and to a park. At this point, she hid behind a tree, not wanting to be seen. She saw the two chickens throwing the books at a frog in a pond, to which the frog was saying, "Rrredit Rrredit Rrredit..."

Tamil Jokes

2009-07-01T03:36:00.000-07:00

Failing Slowly

2009-06-22T05:33:00.000-07:00

Graffiti wall is vandalized

2009-06-15T22:33:00.000-07:00

Clarence and Ole

2009-06-11T06:44:00.001-07:00

Ole lived across the river from Clarence--and they didn't like each other at all. They were yelling all the time across the river at each other.

Ole would yell to Clarence, "If I had a vay to cross dis river, I'd come over dere an beat you up good, yeah sure ya betcha by golly!"

This went on for years. Finally the state built a bridge across the river right there by their houses.

Ole's wife, Lena, said, "Now is your chance, Ole, why don't you go over dere & beat up dat Clarence like you said you vould?

Ole said, "OK, by yimmy I tink I vill do yust dat." Ole started for the bridge but he saw a sign on the bridge & he stopped to read it, then he turned around & went back home.

Lena asked, "Vhy did you come back?"

Ole said, "Lena, I tink I change my mind 'bout beatin' up dat Clarence, you know, dey put up a sign on da bridge dat says "Clarence is 13 ft. 6 in." You know, he don't look dat big vhen I yell at him from across da river."

Dreams of animals

2009-06-09T06:33:00.000-07:00

A Man of Few Words

2009-06-09T06:28:00.001-07:00

Circle of Life

2009-05-26T01:07:00.000-07:00

The Honest Scammer

2009-05-26T01:06:00.000-07:00

Golf

2009-05-26T01:03:00.000-07:00

Moses, Jesus, and an old man are playing golf. Moses tees up first, and
hit a pretty good one right down the middle, but it comes up short of
the stream in front of the green and looks like it's going to roll into
the water. Of course, the waters part, and the ball rolls up on the
green, 1 foot from the hole.

Jesus is next, and he smacks a pretty good one right down the middle, as
well. It's only got a little more on it than Moses' shot, though, and
it's heading right for the stream. It lands on the stream, and bounces
and rolls on the top of the water, right up on the green and only 6
inches from the cup.

The old man's turn is next, and he swings a mighty swing, but the ball
begins to slice to the right almost immediately. It hits a tree on the
far right, and just as it hits the ground underneath, a squirrel runs up
and grabs the ball in his mouth, and proceeds to take off across the
fairway. Just then, an eagle spots the rodent from the sky above, and
dives down and grabs the squirrel in it's talons. It begins to fly
away, gaining altitude, but right out of the lone cloud in the sky comes
a bolt of lightening that zaps that poor bird right in the tail
feathers, promptly causing him to drop the squirrel from his clutches.

The squirrel falls to the ground next to the stream, and as he hits, the
ball pops out of his mouth, bounces off a turtle's shell sunning by the
stream, and rolls up onto the green and right into the cup.

Jesus turns to the old man and says, "Nice shot, dad!"

Negative people

2009-05-26T01:01:00.001-07:00

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade. So remember this story the next time someone who knows nothing and cares less tries to make your life miserable.

A woman was at her hairdresser's getting her hair styled for a trip to
Rome with her husband.. She mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who
responded:

"Rome ? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded and dirty..
You're crazy to go to Rome . So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking Continental," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"

"Continental?" exclaimed the hairdresser. " That's a terrible airline.
Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they're
always late. So, where are you staying in Rome ?"

"We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River
called Teste."

"Don't go any further. I know that place. Everybody thinks its gonna
be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump."

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people
trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant.

Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser
asked her about her trip to Rome .

"It was wonderful," explained the woman, "not only were we on time in
one of Continental's brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they
bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I
had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot.

And the hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5 million remodeling
job, and now it's a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too,
were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner's suite at
no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the hairdresser, "that's all well and good, but I know
you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a
Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope
likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step
into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me.

Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and
shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me."

"Oh, really! What'd he say ?"

He said: "Who messed up your hair?"

Enna kodumai...

2009-05-11T06:28:00.001-07:00

Cost Cutting

2009-05-11T02:41:00.001-07:00

Happy Mother's Day

2009-05-11T00:38:00.001-07:00